Supermom

Yesterday we went to my friend Supermom’s house for Easter Dinner and the traditional egg hunt.  I had been planning to do a small lunch for just Hubs, Sweet Pea, and me, and when she found out she invited us to join her family.  We showed up after church with potato casserole and a basket full of eggs for hiding. 

As I walked into her kitchen I realized that my little potato casserole was hardly needed.  She was baking a ham (Baking…a ham…from scratch.)  She had boiled potatoes for homemade mashed potatoes.  She had a homemade fruit salad, with homemade whipped cream.  She made broccoli rice casserole, and green bean casserole.  And her mom made cornbread dressing.  From scratch. 

And then there were the desserts!  In their family it is tradition to decorate a bunny cake, which the girls had done the afternoon before.  Then there were cookies and rice krispie treat bunny pops.  And she had picked up a cheesecake assortment from Cheesecake Factory, just in case.

My friend has a monogram company (check it out!), so her girls (ages 8 and 6) were dressed in absolutely adorable skirts with monogrammed tank tops to match.  She admitted that this was a last minute effort, but they were finished and completely precious in their finery. 

I started out as a Supermom.  Sweet Pea had new monogrammed dresses for every occasion (with matching bows, no less.)  My parties were thoroughly ‘themed out’.  I made homemade this and that, and it all came out perfectly at just the right time and temperature. 

And then, slowly, things changed.  She resisted.  I struggled.  I would pour myself into something for her only to have it fail miserably when she melted down.  My expectations changed.   She can’t handle huge parties.  She doesn’t appreciate the time spent on homemade.  After a miserable afternoon spent shopping for something new,  I was just glad for her to wear a dress (any dress!) on Easter, period.

Things are different now.  Instead of monograms on dresses I’m inscribing character on her heart.  Little, painful stitches that will someday become the unique personality of a beautiful woman.   I still do homemade:  homemade hugs, homemade words of encouragement, homemade winks and nudges.  I can still ‘theme it out’ with the best of ’em, but our theme tends to be more simple.  I say it over and over again…Calm.  Our house is calm.  Stay calm.  Be calm. 

It’s easy to beat myself up when I’m around *perfect* mothers.  But you know what?  That’s not my calling.  I’ve been called to be Sweet Pea’s Supermom, and monograms and party themes aren’t needed.  My superpower is presence.  In the morning when she thinks her world is going to end because she can’t find a certain stuffed animal.  In the afternoon when she cries that she has no friends after another rough day at recess.  At night when she can’t sleep…again.   Presence when she wants to run away, and I want to run away too.   Presence when she defies me…in public…and I think I’ll die of embarassment.   Presence when my heart hurts so badly I want to crawl under my covers and weep for days. 

Presence.

Every minute, every hour, every day…until she doesn’t need my superpowers anymore. 

**NOTE:   I was obviously inspired to write this blog by my Superfriend, but I do not *in any way* mean to imply that she  is not a PHENOMENAL mother, because she is.  She has shown unconditional love to our family, and continues to nurture a friendship between her daughters and Sweet Pea despite the obvious challenges.  She has stood up for Sweet Pea when other parents were being ugly.  And she loves Jesus.  So please don’t even think of writing something sassy about her in the comments.  ‘Cause then I’ll have to pull out some other superpowers and strike you down!!  🙂