Ten Years Ago…

15 Dec

Dear Sweet Pea,

Ten years ago today you came into the world.  Ten whole years!  It doesn’t even seem possible.

You spent your first nine months in the womb of a girl who will always love you dearly.  I’m sorry you couldn’t stay with her; I know that leaving her was hard, even at two days old.  She was all you knew…her smell, her sound, her very self surrounding you.  You were so small and innocent, and you didn’t deserve that kind of separation.  No baby does.

We held you in our arms and introduced you to our smell, our sound.  We surrounded you with love and family and friends, but you didn’t know us.  We were strangers to you.  You must have been so scared.

And now ten years have gone by.  You are ours, and you are hers.  You know I’m your mom, but you want to know her too. 

I understand. 

I hope she writes you back.  I hope she sends more pictures.  I hope you can meet her someday, so that empty place in your precious heart can be filled with the only person on earth who can fill it.

I wish I was your birthmother.  I would’ve loved to know you that extra nine months.  I would’ve been honored to keep you in a place so close only the two of us would know it.  I would gladly have been sick and tired for you every day of that journey.

But that’s not our reality.  Ours is the reality of a family made by love, not blood.  But that doesn’t make us any less a family.  Will you remember that, sweet child?   No matter what comes in your life, we are your family. 

We won’t leave you.  We won’t ever decide that you’re too much for us, or that we don’t want you anymore.  There’s nothing you can do to break this family apart. 

We are unbreakable.

We love you.

Mommy

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13 Responses to “Ten Years Ago…”

  1. Erin December 15, 2008 at 3:22 pm #

    So sweet! Happy birthday, Abigail!

  2. Jenny December 15, 2008 at 3:55 pm #

    Beautifully written! Happy Birthday, Sweet Pea!

  3. Barb December 15, 2008 at 6:41 pm #

    Okay, wiping the tears off the keyboard again! Hope y’all have a great day and a great trip.

  4. Marinka December 15, 2008 at 6:43 pm #

    This made me tear up (good going, lady). You are all so lucky to have each other. Happy birthday to all of you.

  5. meg December 15, 2008 at 7:42 pm #

    Amen. You understand so completely.

  6. Spring @ Forever Spring December 15, 2008 at 8:39 pm #

    I hope you can meet her someday, so that empty place in your precious heart can be filled with the only person on earth who can fill it.

    Wow. Well said.

    I too have a daughter for whom this is a big issue…I hope that one day, she will be able to meet her birthmother.

    Great post.

  7. Allison December 16, 2008 at 3:07 am #

    Beautiful! Happy Birthday to Miss Sweet Pea 🙂

  8. Melinda December 16, 2008 at 3:50 pm #

    Wow Katy! One day she will cherish this letter more than you will ever know. You are one great Mommy!

  9. Paul December 16, 2008 at 9:18 pm #

    Sniff! Beautiful words.

  10. Darla Baerg December 16, 2008 at 11:00 pm #

    Well, that just made me bawl cry! Beautiful.

  11. Patrick December 16, 2008 at 11:22 pm #

    You just prove on a daily basis how great of a mother you are.

  12. Kimberlee December 17, 2008 at 12:10 pm #

    You’re such a great mommy, Katy! Ten years old…wow!

  13. anymommy December 19, 2008 at 6:13 pm #

    Beautiful. You are an incredible mother.

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