18 Aug

Not that I think anyone will actually read this, because I’ve been gone so long I’m sure I’ve moved completely off of everyone’s reading lists.  Nevertheless, I’m back.  Home.  Dorothy’s right; there’s no place like it.  And that represents a HUGE step for me.

A year ago I was packing up my life in Houston and preparing to move west.  (The Laura Ingalls in me always wanted to say that!)  Anyhoo…August of ’07 was nuts.  We arrived in San Antonyo (that’s how they say it here) just in time for the first day of school, kissed Sweet Pea goodbye, and then welcomed the moving truck.  It was INSANE!  And did I mention that Hubs was out of town??  Insane. 

Other than college, neither Hubs nor I have ever lived outside of Houston.  Pitiful, right?  So this was a big ol’ life-changing event, even for a couple of middle-aged adults.  (I guess there’s no point in pretending that we’re NOT middle-aged, even though I’m only 29 and it’s gonna stay that way!)  It was one of the hardest decisions we’ve ever had to make as a couple, especially considering Sweet Pea and her myriad of challenges.  Oh the transition!  We stayed busy with all of the “house” stuff for the first couple of months, but that eventually changed to him leaving for work, Sweet Pea leaving for school, and me leaving for…oh wait, did I mention I also decided to be a stay-at-home mom for the first time?  It was good times.  Solitude CAN be good, and I think in my case it was, but I certainly tired of it.   I was lonely, I missed my friends, and I wanted to go home. 

It was about this time that we started making plans for summer.  I was offered a job in Houston directing a children’s theatre camp for a couple of weeks, and another job acting for a week.  Three weeks in Houston?  Sounded perfect to a girl who did nothing but think about my life there, and long for my friends there, and wish that I was just THERE. 

But at some point in the spring (maybe about the time I started blogging??) I started to feel reconnected to the world.  To my world.  I made some friends here, I actually left the house for social activities (and I don’t mean talking to the checker at Target!), and wonder of wonders, I started to enjoy my life here.  Everyone said it would happen, but I didn’t really believe it. 

And then summer arrived.  At just the moment I decided I love San Antonio and my friends and my life here.  And now I’ve committed to three weeks in Houston.  Served me right, I guess.  It certainly felt like some sort of subtle punishment for my lack of faith.  Sweet Pea and I hit the road three different times to spend a week at a time in H-town.  In my desperation to be in Houston I had completely underestimated the drag on my psyche that would be caused by all that driving, and living out of a suitcase, and being away from Hubs.  It stunk.  Stunk bad, stunk real bad.

And yet it solidified one thing:  My home is NOT in Houston anymore.  Home is San Antonio.  Sounds so weird for me to say that and actually mean it, but it’s true.  I have come to love it here.  I adore our neighbors, I look forward to going to church every Sunday, and frankly I just love being with my little family.  We’re not perfect…far from it…but we’re US and we’re together, and I love that. 

A year later and so much has changed.  We were so afraid of change, and it was HARD, and there were tears, and moments of regret, but it was right.  We did the right thing. 

I’m home.


6 Responses to “Home”

  1. Andrea's Sweet Life August 18, 2008 at 3:57 pm #

    We are going through some HUGE changes right now, it seems at every level of our lives. It’s caused me to be an emotional wreck, but I think, I THINK, if I embrace it, it may not be so bad. Change can be good, right?

  2. Julie August 18, 2008 at 3:58 pm #

    I like to imagine God, in a grandfatherly sort of way, sitting back and chuckling at our lack of faith in His divine plan for our lives. We expend so much energy doubting, whining and complaining (and I’m a numero uno whiner!) about changes and all the time He is holding us in the palm of His hand saying, “Trust me. You’re mine and that’s a good thing to be.”

    Anyway, glad you are “home” and glad that it feels like home! Give Abigail a squeeze for me!

  3. Barb August 18, 2008 at 8:38 pm #

    I LOVE to hear you say that! Can’t wait to join you, my friend…

  4. Kristi Lewis August 19, 2008 at 6:38 am #

    I’m so glad you are happy there. I know it was hard on you.
    We are beginning our third year, and still haven’t found peace! I think that last year was a step back for us. We are working on it, though. Love ya.

  5. kimberlee August 19, 2008 at 9:45 am #

    i knew you’d fit right in…you just had to give it time. i’ll probably go through the same thing when I finally move back to austin!

  6. anymommy August 19, 2008 at 11:12 pm #

    You can’t get rid of me that easily. Three weeks doesn’t faze me – flew by! Welcome home. I know all of those feelings, the longing for something left behind and the realization that you’ve adjusted and you didn’t even know it. I’ve moved a lot. I am so glad that all three of you are settled and happy. I’m glad for me that you’re back at your on-line ‘home’ too!

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