10 Jun

I have VERY vivid dreams.  Apparently one of the heart meds I take makes that happen.  I don’t know.  But I know that I wake up most mornings feeling like I haven’t slept. 

Last night I saw my brother, Andrew.  Andrew died the day after my 19th birthday; he was one month shy of 16.  So it’s been almost 17 years since he died.  But I still see him in my dreams every so often.  This time, we were at the church that I grew up at.  I was grown up, but he wasn’t.  The first day I saw himfrom a distance, but he disappeared when I called his name.  Same thing the next day.  But on the third day I walked toward him and he stayed.  I was able to hug him and talk to him.  He didn’t talk, but I did (what a surprise!).  On the last day I brought a friend to see him, too, but it was like he was never there and I’d been lying about seeing him. 

I woke up and cried.  I still miss my brother.  I miss his sense of humor, and his acoustic guitar.  I miss the varsity football games I never got to see.  I miss the wife he never married and the cousins Sweet Pea never had.  

Can’t wait to see him again.


8 Responses to “Dreams”

  1. Erin June 10, 2008 at 12:17 pm #

    My uncle died when I was 10 years old. It was the first major death in my life. When I was pregnant (before I knew what we were having), I had a dream that he was listening to me playing piano. He tried to get my attention but I didn’t see him. Finally, I did and we hugged. I told him I missed him and he said he’d been lost. I told him that if I had a boy, I was going to name it after him. He said, “I know. I appreciate that.” Then I woke up, but I felt as if I had JUST been with him. Very real. My mom had those same dreams when my stepfather died. I definitely think it’s God reminding us of what we have waiting.

  2. that girl June 10, 2008 at 1:47 pm #

    My grandfather died when my grama was only 37..she never dated or married again. She says he was her only one and there’s no point looking for another. I asked her once (when I was little) if she missed him terribly. She said sometimes she would start to be sad missing him and then she would have a vivid dream about him and she would wake up happy like she’d seen him. I have to wonder if dreams like that are really dreams?

  3. Bond, Ja...well... you know the rest June 10, 2008 at 3:37 pm #

    Years ago I had one of those dreams about my grandmother. She showed up at my front door in her apron and although she never spoke to me, I knew she was giving me a message about cooking for my kids. It was more than just a dream. Our minds and our hearts have a funny way of bring these people back into our conscious lives for a reason. Find out what his message to you is, Katy. Only you can. Miss you!

  4. jvalways June 10, 2008 at 5:00 pm #

    when i miss someone i dream about them. i can relate.

  5. Brother June 11, 2008 at 5:26 pm #

    6-10 times a year. Most real dreams of all I have.

  6. laurieofthesevenstories June 11, 2008 at 8:53 pm #

    I really belive that when people die and you see them in your dreams, that they are visiting you from the beyond. Maybe I’m crazy, but I think that your brother missed you too, and wanted to drop into your life.
    I am so sorry for your loss- I have two brothers that I love so much and I can’t imagine life without them.

  7. The Introvert June 12, 2008 at 11:05 pm #

    I still miss my grandfather. He died when I was 12, but I still think about him a lot. Even though he’d be insanely old if he were still alive (111 years old), I would’ve loved for him to have met my husband and seen the person I grew into. But somehow, I think he knows.

  8. chris seay June 12, 2008 at 11:26 pm #

    I just found out you had a blog (through Amy’s blog and your comment about Olivia and Bible stories) and was touched deeply to read about you dreams of Andrew. I think of Andrew sometimes and wonder…

    I wonder how much you and Doug must miss him…
    how often your Dad must cry after seventeen years…
    why? and if other great losses will come to us in totally unexpected ways..

    I wonder what he would be doing now, and I am sure so many others think of him often as well…

    blessings and comfort,


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