This May Offend…

16 Apr

I am a true Southern girl, which means my daddy taught me good manners.  And that means that it sort of pains me to say the following…

 

I have a farting flip flop. 

 

Only the left one.  The right one doesn’t make any noise, but the left one sounds like it had the Plato Combinacion Numero Quatro at Casa Ole last night.  It’s very embarassing. 

 

Now granted I only paid $2.00 for said flip flops (which means the offending one only cost me a buck) but they’re cute!  They’re the perfect shade of blue and old school, which I love.  I don’t want sequins or a wedge heel or the wrong kind of plastic that gives me blisters.  Just give me plain old flip flops, one pair in each color of the rainbow, and I’m happy. 

 

 But they can’t fart.  That’s just wrong!

 

So I have a choice.  Do I trash them?  Do I give them to Goodwill so some other sweet lady will have to deal with the noise?  Do I put them away and get them out another day and try it again?  Or do I wear them and then hum everywhere I go so that the ppfffttting isn’t audible? 

 

These are the decisions that bring me to my knees. 

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4 Responses to “This May Offend…”

  1. Kelly @ Love Well April 16, 2008 at 7:05 am #

    Can you get replacement flip-flops? If not, I say trash them. Life is too short to have farting flip-flops.

    (Now there’s a bumper sticker.)

  2. FancyPants April 16, 2008 at 9:48 am #

    I had to read the second paragraph over and over cuz I wasn’t getting what you were talking about…until I read on…and that was really funny.

  3. janemumey April 17, 2008 at 7:45 am #

    I love those old flip flops also…..But, this side effect may have long reaching social consequences! Dump the old toots if you can’t WD-40 the sound out.

  4. The Introvert April 17, 2008 at 9:51 am #

    mmmmm….Casa Ole

    Can you believe THAT is what caught my attention the most? I have issues.

    For what it’s worth, I’d go to Old Navy and pick up a new pair…or three or four in each color. That’s the beauty of flip flops…they’re so cheap, they’re practically disposable!

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