Opening Night

Tonight.  The show’s tonight.   The show’s tonight!  I’ve got to do this.  I don’t want to do it.  This was a bad idea.  I’m scared.  I’m nervous.  I want to cry and throw up.  I’m not going to remember my lines – yes you will – no I won’t…I’m going to screw up the big number because I’m not really sexy and whoever thought this was a good idea is sadly mistaken…trust what they’re telling you…they said it’s fine, they said it’s good!  Trust them.  What if I don’t make my quick change?  That little girl who’s helping me doesn’t know what she’s doing.  I’m going to get caught in the middle of the change and not make it onstage.  I have to remember to speak up in that kitchen scene…who ever thought I’d get a note about increasing my volume?  I can do this.  No I can’t.  My voice is going to go out.  I’m going to reach for one of those notes and even though it’s been there every single night it will be gone tonight.  Fear…so much fear.  Where is my confidence?  Come back!  Don’t forget to tuck your skirt with your right hand before the knife throwing or you’ll ruin the gag.  HE was the one SHE swam the channel for…get it right!  Sid, we need to talk.  You’re wonderful and I love you, but we’re in for a lot of trouble.  There’s something gonna come between us.  Listen to me. What is so hard about those damn lines?  Breathe.  I want it to be perfect.  Is that so much to ask?  My heart is pounding.  Breathe.  I can do this.  I’m ready.  I’ve rehearsed until I can’t anymore.  Breathe.  It’s time.  I can do this.  Breathe.  I can do this.

I can do this.

I can do this.